Whatever, Movie.

The movie He’s Just Not That Into You totally pissed me off. At the beginning of the movie I can completely relate with Ginnifer Goodwin’s character because my love life is jacked up, read: nonexistent.  I agree that she needs someone to help her out so Justin Long’s character takes up the mantle. Great, agree one hundred percent.  Bradley Cooper and Scarlett Johansson’s characters are just begging us to hate them. Both of them are just to freaking beautiful to exist in one movie together anyway the fact that they are CHEATERS just adds more fuel to our little hate fire. (I’m sure they are wonderful people in real life. Beautiful Bastards)  So I go along with the movie thinking everything is fine and dandy in my loath fest.  I even hate Ben Afflec’s character because he has freaking Jennifer Aniston who, in my opinion, is one of the most funny, down to earth, understanding and classy women out there and her won’t freaking grow a pair and marry her.  UGH! My recent emotional climate and life events are tracking perfectly with the movie.  

HAHA Psych! Flip flop and turn it around.  …spoiler alert... IT’S A CHICK FLIC LIKE ALL THE OTHER ONES!! 

I was hoping that in my angsty angst the movie would royally blow for everybody the whole way through but noooo.  Mister “No Commitment” has a change of heart. Miss “Low Self Esteem” finds her worth.  Even real estate dude and Drew Barrymore’s character connect.  (A part, I thought, felt like an afterthought of the script writers, although Drew did her utmost) And frikkin’ Ginnifer Goodwin with her weird flapper hair gets Justin Long!!! Who turns out to be so amazing and wonderful and even brings back the sappy pen.  I hate movies and relationships and chick flicks and everything in the whole world ever. 

my life sucks.

Whatever, movie. I crushed on Justin Long in GALAXY QUEST!! Galaxy Quest.  I have been holding a candle for that man since, I say it again, GALAXY QUEST.  That convention attending nerd had me at "Umm, hello?"  He even once again wooed me completely and wholly as his adorably snarky self in Live Free Die Hard. Whatever, WHATEVER.. whatever.  I should have IMDB’ed this crap before watching and better prepared my lonely, unhappy, angry heart for that syrupy ending that has landed a new set of false expectations in my mind…added to the already mega list permanently saturated in my cerebellum by an incurable Disney addiction.  Wonderful.

dork. but an adorable dork.
adorkable.

be nice to nerds. they grow up. get hot. and save the economy.

one more for good measure. mm.

Tomorrow I'm buying yarn for my next crochet project. Yup. I have so much sex appeal it's insane.

Mind Blown: Sleeping Beauty.

First off I have to share with you a picture of my new favorite spot in the house.  The same exact spot I now sit to compose what I hope will at least be a smirk inducing blog.

so cute, right.

 Ok Sleeping Beauty. Basically she has my dream life.  (Ha, that's like an almost pun) Allow me to show you with visual aids.  First, she gets way more nick names than any other Disney Princess.  Sleeping Beauty a.k.a. Aurora a.k.a Briar Rose...Nicknames = swag.

She grows up in a woodland forest surrounded by her fairy godmothers (*PLURAL..) and all the little furry woodland creatures.  We share a common love for squirrels.

(inside joke)

She meets/dances/falls in love with Prince Charming (a.k.a. Phillip) on her birthday.

a handsome stranger asks you to dance

always answer yes

positive choices

 I have this theory about dancing that I basically stole from Pride and Prejudice. 

Elizabeth Bennet: I wonder who first discovered the power of poetry in driving away love?

Mr. Darcy: I thought that poetry was the food of love.

Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine stout love, it may. But if it is only a vague inclination I'm convinced one poor sonnet will kill it stone dead.

Mr. Darcy: So what do you recommend to encourage affection?

Elizabeth Bennet: Dancing. Even if one's partner is barely tolerable.

The incredible minds behind White Christmas must have been onto me because they put a whole song and dance number about it in their movie.  I am really starting to believe the best things really do happen while you dance.

Fun Fact: Danny Kaye asked the wardrobe dept to match his shoes to his pants so all focus would be on the dancers movement and not distracted by his feet.  What a true artist. His choice became a fashion icon of the era.

Anyway back to Sleeping Beauty.  So on her birthday her fairy godmothers (*Cinderella only got stinkin' one) make her a magic dress, cook her a cool big cake and tell her she's a princess.  Her fairy godmothers take her to the castle to meet all her new subjects and somewhere between receiving her crown and her grand entrance she gets distracted by a cool green light.  "Oooh, Look! Something shiny!" The cool green light leads her up this sweet castle-y wind-y staircase to her very own craft room with a spinning wheel....!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Which she proceeds to touch in reverence and pass out from sheer excitement/crafting bliss.

oh.my.gawd...

the peaceful sleep of a person who gets everything they freaking want

And what else?? She's awakened from her bliss-sleep by none other than her mystery man smooching her face off.

Oh, and you want to know what lover boy was doing while she was sleeping?

HE WAS FIGHTING A DRAGON!!!

seriously

After wiping the sleep from her eyes she is then ushered into a huge party with all her friends, I'm pretty sure it's her engagement party, and dances in the magic dress with her handsome man on clouds. CLOUDS.

*like*

party party party

magic dress

magic dress on magic love clouds

So lets recap: she meets/dances/falls in love with a handsome stranger in the woods, gets a magic dress, a cake, finds out she's a princess, gets a spinning wheel, a nice nap, a huge party and dances AGAIN with handsome man in magic dress on magic love clouds on her birthday. Best.Birthday.Ever!!

Did I mention she sings and has incredible beauty?

ok.. over the top.

 So Unfair.

I knooooooow. Disney isn't real.. ish..

 *sigh* Can I at least get a T-shirt with Maleficent on it?

Boss

  Because I think she's a better villain than Jafar. 

Dragon Boss

 Check out her monologue here.

THE END

kinda makes you want to watch the whole movie again, huh.